It’s Behind The Tree

By Sebastian Ospina | @sebasospinaaa

Deep in the rich North American woodlands, a creature called the “Hidebehind” makes its home. Adept at, well, hiding behind any tree (or unassuming human victim), the monster regularly eats lumberjacks, gouging out the stomach and feeding on the raw intestines of flannel-wearing bearded men—an environmental warrior if you will. 

Rarely seen, heard, or felt; it’s hard to nail down the creature’s appearance (much like the impending climate apocalypse). Many think of it as a slender spirit-like beast, eviscerating the beings that have made it their mission to make the lush green forests growing gregariously on countrysides, hilltops, and mountains nothing but dirt and dust. All the same, there is no escaping the Hidebehind—once it’s picked you as its victim, you’re a goner. 

Now, no one’s ever asked the creature why it does what it does. Anyone’s guess could be the truth. Elusive and enigmatic, its intentions for ripping humans (and humans only) to shreds might be just for fun, but who’s to say that there isn’t a greater meaning behind its existence? After all, the Earth, wonderful and weird as it is, has natural barriers against man’s encroachment. The Hidebehind, along with the abundance of mystical creatures that dot the American landscape, can be thought of as buffers between humanity and catastrophic tsunamis, devastating landslides, ravaging wildfires, fatal heat waves, and nuclear meltdowns.  

It’s not the Hidebehind’s responsibility to clean up the mess industrialization has wrought on the planet, but whether it knows it or not, it might be doing the job. Protecting carbon sinks in one of the world’s largest polluters is not a burden many but the unforgiving Hidebehind could carry. One more tree is one more home for the bats that pierce the night, one more winding path towards the clouds for adventurous ants, one more branch for the north-bound songbird, one more network of roots zigzagging through a millennium’s worth of bones, worms, and plants. 

There’s a reason to fear this creature, for it knows the dangers of letting humans into nature. With all this in mind, the perpetually self-interested human race does have one weapon against the mighty Hidebehind: alcohol. Ironic. It won’t kill it, but it’ll ward it off. Just make sure to keep alcohol by your side until the very end—the Hidebehind never gives up.

1. Astonishing Legends, 2018